WHEN THE PHYSICAL TURNS VIOLENT

WHEN THE PAIN AND FUSTRATION BUILDS UP INSIDE OF US WHY IS IT THAT WE ALWAYS HAVE TO TURN TO VIOLENCE..I.E. PUTTING YOUR DAMN HANDS ON SOMEONE??


IS THIS A RESULT OF OUR UPBRINGING AND SEEING CONSTANT EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE THAT WE SEE AS OUR ROLE MODELS DO?

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN IT'S SOMEONE THAT YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH?

DO YOU FORGIVE THEM? IS THAT THE END?

WHAT MAKES PEOPLE THINK THEY CAN SAY SORRY AND IT BE OK?
THAT THE "LOVE" THEY ONCE SHARED SHOULD OVERRIDE SUCH AN OCCURANCE?

IS LOVE WORTH THE RISK OF BEING ASSAULTED AGAIN, OR EVEN WORSE, LIVING IN THE FEAR THAT ONE DAY IT JUST MAY HAPPEN AGAIN?


WHAT IF YOU'VE BEEN DOWN THAT ROAD BEFORE WITH SOMEONE ELSE, SHOULD YOU LET IT GO PRESENTLY?

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE PERSON SAYS THEY WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN, ACTUALLY WILL LIVE UP TO THIER WORD?

SHOULD ONE EVEN BE CONSIDERING, CONTEMPLATING ANYTHING LIKE THIS AND SAY FUCK IT?

IS LOVE ENOUGH

THE QUESTION I POSE IS SOMETHING THAT WE ALL GO THROUGH
ESPECIALLY WHEN ARE WITH SOMEONE WE HOLD CLOSE TO OUR HEARTS
IS LOVE ENOUGH
ENOUGH TO GET US THROUGH THE "RAIN"
GET US THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN
CAN IT ALLOW US TO OVER COME SOME SORT OF OBSTACLE THAT IS IN OUR PATH?
CAN IT OVERRIDE ANY EMOTIONAL TRAUMA
DOES IT SUPERCEED THE VIOLENCE BROUGHT DOWN UPON US?
JUST IS IT ENOUGH?

AUGUST 11, 1965, SOUTH CENTRAL (WATTS) LOS ANGELES, CA

On August 11, 1965, a routine traffic stop in South Central Los Angeles provided the spark that lit the fire of those seething feelings. The riots lasted for six days, leaving 34 dead, over a thousand people injured, nearly 4,000 arrested, and hundreds of buildings destroyed.
Watts became a scene of the greatest example of racial tension America had seen.

A Los Angeles police officer pulled over motorist Marquette Frye [who was with his brother Ronald]; he suspected Marquette of driving drunk. While officers questioned them, a crowd of onlookers had begun to form. When Rena Frye, the boys mother showed up, a struggle ensued which led to the arrest of all 3 members of the Frye family. More officers had arrived on the scene and had hit the brothers with their batons. The crowd had grown and by this point had become angry. After the police left the scene, the crowd & tension escalated and sparked the riots, which lasted 6 days. More than 34 people died, 1000 wounded, and an estimated $50 - $100 million in property damage.



After the riots, then Governor Pat Brown named John McConnell to head a commission to study the riots.
The report issued by the Commission concluded that the riots weren't the act of thugs, but rather symptomatic of much deeper problems: the high jobless rate in the inner city, poor housing, bad schools.
Although the problems were clearly pointed out in the report, no great effort was made to address them, or to rebuild what had been destroyed in the riots.



LETS ALL REMEMBER THE STRUGGLE THAT IT TOOK TO GET TO WHERE WE ARE TODAY!

ANOTHER TAPE

DAMN ANOTHER TAPE!!!






ALL IM SAYING IS NOW THERE IS ANOTHER DAMN TAPE OUT WITH TERROR THREATS, AND WE STILL HAVE YET TO FIND THIS MAN. I JUST FIND IT ODD THAT WE CAN FIND SADAAM IN A DAMN HOLE IN THE GROUND BUT WE CANT FIND A 6FT.+ ARABIC MAN!!!

HOMOS IN KINDERGARTEN

David Parker (search) of Lexington, Mass., is scheduled to go on trial on Sept. 21 for asking his son's public school to provide parental notification before discussing homosexuality with the 6-year old.

The conflict began on Jan. 17, when Parker's then-5-year-old son brought home a Diversity Bookbag from kindergarten. Included was Robert Skutch's "Who's In a Family?" that depicts families headed by same-sex couples. Parker had wanted to decide for himself the timing and manner in which his son was introduced to the subject of homosexuality.

Parker acknowledged the equal rights of gays but objected to "the 'out of the closet' and into the kindergarten classroom mentality." In essence, Parker highlighted the difference between tolerance, which acknowledges someone's right to make a choice, and acceptance, which is the personal validation of that choice.

By law, Massachusetts requires schools to notify parents when sexuality is scheduled for discussion. Lexington School Committee chairman Thomas B. Griffiths explained, "We don't view telling a child that there is a family out there with two mommies as teaching about homosexuality." In an e-mail, the Estabrook school principal stated, "I have confirmed … that discussion of differing families, including gay-headed families, is not included in the parental notification policy."

Parker stated, "I'm just trying to be a good dad." During a May 11 appearance on the FOX News Channel's "The O'Reilly Factor," Parker expanded on this statement, saying that he wanted his son "to play on the swing set and make mud pies. I don't want him thinking about same-sex unions in kindergarten."

THIS IS AN INTERESTING TOPIC FOR ALL US EDUCATORS OUT THERE...IN TEACHING TOLERANCE, HOW DOES ONE GO ABOUT TEACHING OR DISCUSSION OR EVEN TO BEGIN TO APPROACH THIS TOPIC? AND HOW DO WE DEAL WITH PARENTS LIKE THIS? I DONT DOUBT THAT HES TRYIN TO BE A GOOD FATHER, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, MY CONCERNS ARE, IS HE SO HOMOPHOBIC THAT HE IS AFFRAID IF HIS SON WAS TO BE EXPOSED TO THE CONCEPTS OF HOMOSEXUALITY THAT HIS SON WOULD END UP GAY?? I CAN SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE, JUST BEING EXPOSED TO CONCEPTS DOESNT MAKE ONE THAT WAY..EITHER YOU ARE OR YOU ARENT...

05 BONNIE AND CLYDE????

THEY KEEPIN IT GANGSTA IN TENNESSEE!!! THIS MAN JUST SAID I AINT GOING TO JAIL, AND I FEEL HIM..IT'S TOO DAMN CRAZY UP IN THE JOINT... THIS MAN WAS ON HIS WAY OUT OF A COURT HEARING IN TENNESSEE WHEN HIS GIRL, SHOT 2 OFFICERS SO THE MAN COULD MAKE HIS GET AWAY!!!

"It was just a 'Bonnie and Clyde'-style shootout," Mark Gywn, director of the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation, said Wednesday on ABC's "Good Morning America." "These people are very desperate and don't have anything to lose at this point."

AND RIGHTFULLY SO, IF I DIDNT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO LOOSE BUT MY FREEDOM I WOULD DO WHAT EVER IT TOOK TO STAY IN THE FREE WORLD...FUCK GOING TO JAIL, ESPECIALLY DOWN IN TENNESSEE...DO THEY HAVE JAIL LIKE THE MEXICANS HAVE, WITH NO FLOOR, OR BED, AND GIVE YOU JUST BREAD AND WATER TO EAT......

ARMY MYSTERY SEX SCANDAL

"It's something that's being handled in the proper channels, and it's not something that it would be appropriate for me to get involved with."-Donald Rumsfeld






what could this high ranking army general have done to get releived of his duties??? I noticed on a report from aol that he was involved in sexual misconduct and they were not releasing any more details b/c of how sensitive the subject matter is....

that only leaves me to believe that it has something to do with homosexuality, b/c i'm sure if it was a woman, it would have come out b/c those seem to be so accepted as the norm and almost ok...and seeing that he is such a highly respected official, i believe they said 3rd out of 11th in command of the highest generals in the army, they wouldnt want to damage his name is this actually was about homosexuality...

i do believe that people are too caught up with what other people do on thier own personal time in their own bedrooms...if he is gay so what...that whole dont ask dont tell policy is bullshit to me..it should be so what, we need you, it doesnt matter...b/c I cannot see any one with any common sense really wanting to enlist in the army, especially right now over some bullshit the president done started over his damn father...because we all know what the war was really about...revenge for daddy...

but why should it matter if it is known or not what a person's sexuality is in the armed forces...if it were to come out after years of service that an officer was gay, it has been proven that a gay man can do just the same work, and then some of their straight counterparts. And if someone would say its because they are in close quarters for long periods of time it could be uncomfortable, well if a person isnt sexually harrassing another person, then the situation should not be uncomfortable....

AND THEY SAYS NEGROES DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT

THIS KID AT THE YANKEE BASEBALL GAME WAS TOO SERIOUS ABOUT TESTING THE STABILTY AND DURABILTY OF A NET GUARDING THE HOME PLATE AREA OF YANKEE STADIUM. THIS IDIOT WAS ON THE UPPER DECKS OF THE STADIUM AND JUMPED ONTO THE NET WHICH IS ABOUT 40 FEET BELOW THE AREA HE WHERE HE WAS SITTING. LUCKILY THE NET SUPPORTED HIM AND DIDNT BREAK AND OFFICIALS WERE ABLE TO QUICKLY RESCUE HIM WITH MINIMAL INTERRUPTION TO THE GAME.

THEY ARE CHARGING HIM WITH WRECKLESS ENDANGERMENT, CRIMINAL TRESSPASSING AND SOME OTHER CHARGES THAT I'M SURE WOULD BE THROWN OUT IN COURT....

MY THOUGHT OF THIS IS, WHAT IF THIS WAS A PERSON OF COLOR WHO ATTEMPTED SOMETHING LIKE THIS? IM SURE IT WOULD CREATE A SCENE OF EVERYTHING SHORT OF BRINGING THE JIM CROW LAWS BACK INTO EFFECT...

MY QUESTION TO THIS IS WHY IS IT THAT BLACKS GET BLAMED FOR SO MANY IGNORANT THINGS WHEN WHITE PEOPLE ARE JUST AS CRAZY??? AND IS THIS BOY REALLY GOING TO GET ANY REAL JAIL TIME FOR THIS? HHMMMM???????

SPIDER MAN

YEA ON FIRST GLIMPSE YOU MAY SAY, WHAT THE HELL IS HE ON A GATE FOR, DOES HE THINK HE'S SPIDER MAN?





WELL THAT DAY, YES I DID...LOL....OK AFTER I SAY THIS YOU'RE GOING TO THINK IM OFF MY ROCKER FOR REAL....I WISH I WAS A SUPERHERO SOMETIMES, WITH SPECIAL POWERS AND ALL..LOL...

OK NOW I'VE SAID IT, DON'T THINK I'M CRAZY OR ANYTHING BUT EVER SINCE I WAS A KID I'VE HAD A FASCINATION WITH SUPERHEROES AND WANTED TO BE ONE..I WISH I HAD POWERS TO CONTROL THE WEATHER LIKE STORM FROM X-MEN, FROM BEING ABLE TO FLY AND EVERYTHING...

I GUESS B/C I WAS TORMENTED GROWING UP BY PEOPLE THAT I WISH I COULD INFLICT AS MUCH PAIN AS THEY CAUSE ME UPON THEM. BUT NOW HERE I AM STILL WANTING TO BE THE NEXT X-MAN.

BACK FROM ORBIT

AS I WOKE UP THIS MORNING I TURNED ON MY TV AS I DO EVERY MORNING TO CHANNEL 5 TO WATCH GOOD DAY NY...WITHIN MINUTES THEY REMINDED ME THAT THE ASTRONAUTS WOULD BE RETURNING FROM THIER SPACE MISSION AND LANDING SHORTLY.

I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, DAMN BARELY 100 YEARS AGO THE CAR WAS INVENTED AND NOW WE ARE TRAVELING IN SPACE...I WONDER HOW LONG OFF IS A SPACE COLONY ON THE MOON OR ANY MANNED MISSIONS TO MARS IS GOING TO BE...

I WONDER WILL I SEE IT IN MY LIFETIME SOME OF THOSE GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS IN HUMAN HISTORY.

AS I PONDERED THAT I WONDERED WHO WOULD BE ALLOWED TO GO IN SPACE? WOULD THERE BE ANY PREJUDICES AGAINST ANY PEOPLE FOR ANY PARTICULAR REASON FOR THEM NOT TO GO? OR WOULD A CERTAIN SEGMENT OF THE POPULATION BE MANDATED TO GO TO SPACE TO RID THEM FROM EARTH?

JUST SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS I HAD THIS MORNING.

A TRIBUTE TO THE BEGINNING

"DL"

reflecting on them days

when we were mad tight

best of friends

no one could tear us apart

you became my brother

twin infact, tricked a few to believe it too

that was something

now-a-adays

we talk once in a blue moon

were did we become so distance from one another

i miss you dawg

in more words than one

recently i tried to bring you into my new world

what a faliure

i believe that made us more distant

i tried to be down with your surroundings

that i cant deal with

and you know you're better than that

but besides all that

your aura just excites me

being around you,

i feel like it's just about you and me

how it used to be

we would get together and do our thing

then go to our girls and chill with them

damn, then were the days

emotionless sex

or atleast you thought it was

nigga after all this time i have to tell you i'm in love with you

i regret never telling you

but it's true

damn, i know you don't feel the same

guess it's because of your "dl" status

well i'm not looking to be with you

just wanted to let you know

TWISTED

TALKING WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS LAST NIGHT ON HOW TO IMPROVE MY BLOG SPACE TO LOOK AS FAB AS HIS, HE TOLD ME WHERE I NEEDED TO START. HE SAID TO CREATE A GEOCITIES PAGE TO BEGIN THIS PROCESS. I TOLD HIM I THINK I HAVE ONE FROM BACK IN THE DAY WHEN I WAS ON BLACKPLANET...
THAT HAD TO BE LIKE 3-4 YEAS AGO ALREADY, TIME GOES BY TOO QUICKLY

SO AS I WENT IN SEARCH FOR MY MISPLACED PICS THAT ARE LOCKED AWAY ON THE WEB SOMEWHERE, I ACTUALLY FOUND THEM..AND WITH IT A WHOLE OTHER WEBSITE THAT I FORGOT ABOUT...THE ONE THING THAT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION WAS THE SITE I CREATED FOR MY POETRY..THAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE NOT DONE UNTIL RECENTLY. AND THAT IS GOING TO BE THE SUBJECT OF MY BOG TODAY

THIS ONE POEM CALLED DEPTHS

"Depths Of A Soul"

look deep, deep inside

do you see it?

my innocents?

my loneliness?

my insecurities?

my soul, my all?

look harder, again deeper

deep into the dark brown eyes

past the outer so called cuteness of my epidermus

to the real me

look through the dark clouds of loneliness

beyond the lakes of dispair and mountains of pain

into the depths of my soul

what do you see?

a young childwho feels scared and alone

playing in a corner of solitude

alone, always alone

hurt one too many times

how much longer will this escapade prevail?

how much longer can he hold on?

he is worn downtiredfed uptormented

neglected

aggervated

abused

used

useless

what is he to do?

what do you see?

a frail adolescent

who very much so wishes hopes to be bigger

annorrexic and unpretty is what he feels

volnerable, do you know the feeling?

he does...one would think, from the outside looking in

that he was given the world

but on the interior looking at the exall he can invision is the hardship and pain he has encountered in his lifetime

reminising on all the hurtful times

why?

why?

why?

oh fuck why?

what did he do wrong?

be born?yes, sometimes he wishes he wasnt

maybe more people would be in a better disposition

shit always happens to him with out fail

so he puts up the defensive not to let anyone in inside to his feelings and thoughts

just breathe.......

inhale....

exhale....

close your eyes and exhale

let all things flow out

with the air, let it flow

exhale........

do you know me?

i think not,

you've just scartched the surface.

I REMEMBER WRITING THIS IN LIKE BETWEEN 2000-2001. I WAS SUCH IN A HORRIBLE SPACE BACK THEN AND I KNOW I HAVE EVOLVED GREATLY. BUT I CANT HELP BUT TO REVERT BACK INTO THE SPACE I WAS ONCE IN AFTER READING THIS. I REALIZE THAT I AM ON A ROAD TO GREAT THINGS, WHICH MAKES ME ASK MYSELF, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

THE SAME FRIEND WHO I SPOKE WITH ABOUT REVAMPING THIS SPACE, SAID THAT HE WANTED TO SEE HAPPY THINGS IN MY BLOGS....

I WISH I COULD BUT I FEEL LIKE I AM STILL DEALING WITH THESE ISSUES WHICH OVERSHADOWS ALL THE MOMENTS OF JOY IN MY LIFE.

I GUESS I WILL JUST USE THIS AS A CHANNEL TO VENT MY EMOTIONS JUST AS HE AND OTHERS LIKE HIM ARE AND HAVE BEEN DOING, UNTIL I CAN GET THIS UNDER CONTROL

LONG LOST STRANGER

AS ANOTHER EPISODE OF THIS THING I CALL MY LIFE WAS WINDING DOWN FOR THE DAY, ANOTHER INCONSISTANT BUT YET FAMILIAR PERSON RANG MY PHONE TONIGHT. INCONSISTANT IN THE WAY WE KEEP IN TOUCH WITH ONE ANOTHER AND YET FAMILIAR B/C WE ARE COOL AND I REALLY DO HAVE A STRONG ADMIRATION FOR THIS PERSON. THINKING ABOUT WHEN THE LAST TIME WE HAD SPOKE WHICH HAD BEEN A MONTH OR 2 IT WAS ABOUT DUE TIME THAT OUR PATHS ONCE AGAIN CROSSED. BUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT HIS INTERACTIONS WITH ME, WE HAVE KNOWN ONE ANOTHER FOR SIX YEARS...DAMN THAT REALLY JUST HIT ME, SIX DAMN YEARS...

WHERE DO I BEGIN TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS PERSON. I CAN SAY THAT I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A STRONG ATTRACTION FOR HIM EVER SINCE I MET HIM THAT DAY AT MC DONALDS, BUT ALWAYS HAD THIS FEELING WITHIN ME LIKE THE FEELING WAS NOT MUTUAL. YEARS LATER I WOULD FIND THAT TO BE DIFFERENT. BUT I DO REMEMBER THAT DAY IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE MCDONALDS OFF THE GARDEN STATE PARWAY IN UNION LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. THE YEAR WAS 99 AND I WAS JUST BEGINNING TO EXPLORE THIS WHOLE GAY PART OF MY LIFE FULLY, OTHER THAN JUST MESSING WITH ONE OF MY OLD FRIENDS FROM CHILDHOOD. I REMEMBER HIM STEPPIN OUTTA THE CAR LOOKIN GOOD AS HE WANTED TO LOOK, LITE SKIN, 5'10 BOUT 155LBS OR SO JUST CUTE AS HELL..NEEDLESS TO SAY I WANTED TO JUMP HIS BONES IN THE PARKING LOT. WE ENGAGED IN BRIEF CONVO BECAUSE THIS WAS OUR INITIAL MEETING, AND I LEFT THAT ENCOUNTER FEELING UNSATISFIED. LIKE DAMN, I JUST KNOW HE IS NOT INTO ME THE WAY I AM FEELING HIM RIGHT NOW. THAT WAS IN MARCH OF THAT YEAR.

AFTER THAT MEETING WE NEVER MET UP AGAIN FOR A FEW MONTHS LATER, PERHAPS JUNE OR JULY. DURING THAT TIME I CALLED HIM, OF COURSE MORE THAN HE CALLED ME. ONLY TO BE GREETED WITH THE TONE OF LIKE OK, WHAT DO YOU WANT. YOU KNOW THE TONE YOU GIVE PEOPLE THAT YOU REALLY DONT WANT TO TALK TO.

SO FASTFORWARD TO JUNE/JULY...HE CALLED AND ACTUALLY WANTED TO HANG WIT ME...TRUST ME I WAS EXTATIC!! THIS BOY THAT I LUSTED AFTER AND WANTED TO BE MINE ACTUALLY WANTED TO HANG WIT ME...BUT AS ALWAYS THERE WAS A TWIST. WE HANG OUT BUT IT IS WITH ONE OF HIS FRIENDS COMES ALONG. AND IT WAS A DAMN GIRL AT THAT! I WAS MAD, I WANTED TO BE ALONE WITH HIM, FOR HIM TO SPEND TIME WITH JUST ME! OUR MEETING WAS BITTERSWEET AS SOME WOULD SAY. BUT THE EVENTS OF THAT MEETING LEFT ME FEELING FAR WORSE THAN EVER....WE SMOKED SOME WEED AND DROVE AROUND TOWN IN MY CAR, AND HE ASKED ME WAS I READY? I WAS LIKE READY FOR WHAT? HE WAS LIKE TO HAVE SEX...I WAS LIKE WHERE...HE SAID HERE IN THE CAR...RELUCTANTLY I DID IT, B/C I THOUGHT MAYBE HE WOULD LIKE ME IF I DID.....DAMN I SOUND LIKE A BITCH SAYING THAT, LOL....BUT AFTER I FELT SO USED B/C I FOUND OUT HE HAD A BOYFRIEND AND I JUST HAD SEX WITH HIM INFRONT OF HIS FRIEND, AND A GIRL NON THE LESS AND IN MY DAMN CAR DRIVING AROUND!!!!! I FELT SO USED AND DISGUSTING!

I THINK FOR ME THAT SET THE TONE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP..I ALWAYS FELT LIKE I WAS JUST A NUT TO HIM AND I WANTED TO BE SO MUCH DAMN MORE TO HIM...YES WE DID HAVE ENCOUNTERS AFTER THAT AND EVERY TIME I JUST FELT THOSE SAME EMOTIONS ARISE AGAIN FEELING LIKE JUST A NUT...

WE RECENTLY ADDRESSED SOME OF THOSE ISSUES THAT I WAS HAVING AND IT CAME OUT THAT HE WAS INTERESTED IN ME MORE THAN I KNEW, BUT HE SAYS I DIDNT OPEN UP TO HIM SO HE COULD GET TO KNOW ME...I UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS SAYING BUT ITS BEEN DAMN 6 YEARS OF ME FEELING THE WAY I DO, AND IT'S NOT EASY TO ERASE ALL THE PAIN I PUT MYSELF THROUGH.

SO AS IT REMAINS WE CONTINUE TO REPEAT THIS CYCLE OF ON AGAIN OFF AGAIN COMMUNICATION...AND FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG THAT WILL LAST.

SUBURBIAN BLUES

WHO WOULD EVER HAVE THOUGHT THAT ONE WOULD REALLY HATE LIVING IN THE BURBS. THOSE 12 MILES FROM THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS CAN BE A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE RELYING ON TRANSPORTATION OTHER THAN YOUR OWN. BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 1-7 AM TRANSPORTATION BACK TO THE GARDEN STATE'S SUBURBS COMES TO A STAND STILL UNLESS ITS BY A CAR OF YOUR OWN. THIS CAUSES PROBLEMS FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO HAVE A NIGHT ON THE TOWN, BUT WHO ARE NOT TRYIN TO SPEND ALL DAMN NIGHT ON THE TOWN. ITS EITHER YOU PARTY TILL 1230 TO MAKE THAT 1 AM TRAIN, OR WAIT TILL 7 TO GET THAT FIRST ONE OUT. WAIT A PAIN IN THE ASS...AND FORGET ABOUT LOOKING FOR RIDES..FOR ME, I HATE ASKING PEOPLE FOR SHIT, I REALLY DO, AND ASKING FOR THAT IS SUCH A PAIN..AND IT'S NOT LIKE PEOPLE REALLY WANT TO DO THAT AS WELL. BEING THAT I LIVE "SO FAR" OUT. WHEN IN REALITY IT IS NOT THAT FAR AT ALL. YOU WOULD THINK THAT NJT IN A SMART MOVE TO GENERATE MORE REVENUE FOR THEMSELVES WOULD HAVE 24 HOUR SERVICE, ESPECIALLY ON THE WEEKENDS...AND IM SURE IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY..I SEE MANY OF MY FELLOW SUBURBIANITES ENJOYING THE CITY NITE LIFE, BUT ARE PLAGUED WITH THE BEING STUCK IN NY BLUES UNTIL THOSE TRAIN START RUNNING AGAIN. THIS IS WHY I HATE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, IT SUCKS ASS.

DAMN IS THAT YOUR TRADE?

Recalling the events of another Friday night in NYC, i begin to realize that some people have a few screws loose. All I was trying to do was get my black ass home partying in Bk. I could have stayed with friends in the area but I didnt want to impose, I'm just funny like that. So I asked some peeps I knew who also had to make that trek under the Hudson, to give me a lift back to my abode in the hills. I asked repeatedly were they making a b-line to the tunnel, with no detours, cause I was just tired, and I knew they were drunk and carrying on. So knowing that I know better, I allowed this entourage of drunkards take me off to my home state. The usual lingering occurred as we exited the club in downtown Bk, but soon enough we were off. We couldn't have been no more than 30 seconds into the drive, when I heard someone mention something about a SP. I said what the hell is that? And the giggling occurred, and they were like yes lets go, lets go..I said, o no, take me home, what the fuck is a damn SP. One of my boys was like a sex party..I said OH HELL NAH!! I am not about to pay for someone to suck my dick, or whatever..aint no way in hell, especially when I can get it for free! What the fuck! But of course there wasnt much I could do b/c I was not driving. So they made a quick right headed back down deep in Bk. As we get into the middle of Bed-Stuy we turn down the infamous Marcy Ave. and why do we have to see this DRAGQUEEN walking down the street in these tight ass speedos with all her dick hanging out in them..and had a nerve to be quite big!! I'm like that cant be her dick, there is no way...So being that my friends were drunk, they began to hoot and holler out the window at this dragon. One friend that was sitting in the backseat with me was the most vocale, screaming, EEWWW look at its trade!! Look at it! and telling the dragon to pull it out so he can see it. That didnt last to long without this dragon getting the nerve to attack my friend in the car!!! Yes this dragon came over with a BRICK swinging at my friend. He attempted to roll the window up catching her arms in the car, and telling the driver to pull off!!! OMG, we were dragging the dragon down the street!!! That shit was hilarious!!! So of course she fell out of the car maybe a few yards after being dragged. And then the friend who was attacked got out of the car attempting to actually FIGHT this dragon. So the other 2 people in the car got out as well, and I kept my ass in the car b/c I had enough drama this past week. So of course I turn around to see the action that was occuring, and why do I see this dragon with a pole about 5ft. long threatening to beat my friends ass with it. Meanwhile the other two friends is separating the dragon and the other friend from an actual physical altercation. This went on for a good 5 minutes and they dragged my friend back to the car. Then as we proceeded down the street, the dragon got in her car and began to follow along side us down the street talking shit! My one friend was yelling out the car you need to keep it moving because there is 4 of us and 1 of you, you will get your ass beat!! And all the while she was ranting how she aint start with nobody and she needed to fuck him up. Eventually she got the hint and drove off down some random side street. Then you would think the dummy who started with the dragon would get enough of yelling out of the window at people, in Brooklyn nontheless. We get around the corner, he is yelling at these straight boys , like AY YO SHORTY! Im like your gonna get a bullet in your ass, Bk boys dont play like that! Thankfully I made it to my home in one piece, I just know for the next time not to fuck wit him like that.

THE IN'S AND OUT'S OF LOVE

WHAT DO U SAY TO SOMEONE THAT YOU COULD BUT YOU REALLY CANT
WHAT DO U SAY TO SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN BUT NOT YOUR ALL
WHAT DO U SAY TO SOMEONE THAT WHEN IT WAS THIS, IT WAS REALLY THAT
WHAT DO U SAY TO SOMEONE THAT YOU DISLIKE BUT YOU REALLY LOVE
WHAT DO U SAY TO SOMEONE THAT THINKS THEY ARE ALL RIGHT, WHEN THEY ARE TOTALLY WRONG ?
WHAT DO U SAY TO SOMEONE THAT YOU'RE FULL OF DISAPPOINTMENT?

HOW DO U SAY TO SOMEONE THAT YOU LOVE THEM BUT DONT HAVE THE WORDS?
HOW DO U SAY TO SOMEONE THAT YOU MISS THEM WITHOUT OPENING YOUR MOUTH?
HOW DO U SAY YOU ARE MY WORLD WITH OUT TAKING THEM TO THE MOON?
HOW DO U SAY I AM SORRY WITH OUT LOOKING LIKE A FOOL?
HOW DO U SAY THAT YOU ARE MY FUTURE WITHOUT LOOKING INTO A CRYSTAL BALL?
HOW DO U SAY WILL YOU BE MINE FOREVER?

IS THERE A WAY TO SAY SHUT THE FUCK UP WITHOUT BEING MEAN?
IS THERE A WAY TO HAVE YOUR OWN WITHOUT BEING SEPARATED?
IS THERE A WAY TO GET AWAY BUT NOT LEAVE?
IS THERE A WAY TO REINVENT WITHOUT DESTROYING?
IS THERE JUST A WAY TO FIND THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP?

LOVE, WHAT A BITCH

KNOW UR POSITION

OVER THE PAST FEW DAYS I HAVE RECENTLY RECONNECTED WITH SOMEONE FROM MY PAST. I WOULDNT NECESSARILY SAY THAT WE INTENTIONALLY FELL OFF WITH A FIGHT OR ANYTHING, IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT OCCURED DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCE, WELL ATLEAST FROM MY VIEW POINT. WELL WITH RECENT EVENTS OF PEOPLE CONSTANTLY IN AND OUT OF MY LIFE FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER, I BEGAN TO PONDER UPON THE QUESTION OF WHAT PURPOSE DO CERTAIN PEOPLE PLAYIN MY LIFE. DAMN I CAN FEEL MYSELF GETTING OLD NOW, SOMETIHNG THAT I HAD BEEN TRYING TO AVOID FOR SO LONG HAS FINALLY GOT ME BACKED IN THE CORNER WITH NOWHERE TO RUN. DAMNIT! I USED TO LIVE MY LIFE SO CARE FREE WITH OUT ANY WORRIES NOR CARES ABOUT THIS OR THAT. NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THESE GROWING UP THOUGHTS...LOL...

WHAT ABOUT UR FRIENDS

LIKE TLC SAID, WHAT ABOUT UR FRIENDS? WILL THEY STAND THIER GROUND? WILL THEY LET U DOWN? OR WILL THEY JUST TURN THIER BACK ON U? WELL LET ME TELL U BOUT MINE. WELL I HAVE VARIOUS FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES THROUGH THIS WORLD, AND I RECENTLY GOT INTO ANOTHER, YES I SAID, ANOTHER DILEMA WITH A FEW OF THE CLOSEST ONES. THIS FINAL SITUATION OCCURED BOUT 2 MONTHS AGO WHILE GOING ON A TRIP. WHAT BASICALLY WENT DOWN, WAS SOMETHING OCCURED INVOLVING MYSELF AND 3 OTHER FRIENDS AND MY EX, THATS ALL WHO WERE INVOLVED. ONE FRIEND DECIDED HE WAS GOING TO TELL THE WORLD THE BUSINESS..WHY WOULD U DO THAT? FRIENDS DONT DO THAT!!!! THATS THE FIRST OFFENSE. THEN I GET WORD FROM SEVERAL OTHER PEOPLE THAT HE WAS BASHING MY NAME. SO NOT ONLY WAS HE TELLING EVERYONE WHAT HAPPENED, BUT HE WAS SAYING I WASNT WORTH A POT TO PISS IN. THATS RULE NUMBER 2 HE DONE BROKE. THEN I HEAR HE WENT ON TO TELL SOMEONE I WAS WITH AT THE TIME, I WAS DOING X, Y , AND Z, WITH A, B, AND C.....THAT IS RULE #1!!!! FRIENDS DONT DO THAT BULLSHIT!!!!! THEN HOMEY WENT ON TO TELL ANOTHER FRIEND ABOUT A SITUATION THAT OCCURED ABOUT AN EX DATE OF THIERS AND MYSELF, WHICH I ADMIT WAS WRONG ON MY PART BUT HE FAILED TO LEAVE OUT THAT HE INITIATED THAT. AND U JUST DONT TELL, WHAT THE HELL....NOW AN INDIVIDUAL LIKE THIS WAS A SECOND CHANCE FRIEND....YES THIS WASNT THE FIRST TIME HE HAD DONE WRONG BY ME, NO SIR INDEED. HOMEBOY ACTUALLY SLEPT WITH MY EX!!!!! TWICE!!!!!! ITS LIKE DAMN!!! BUT I FORGAVE HIM FOR THAT, BUT NEVER FORGOT ABOUT IT.....THIS IS A FRIEND THAT ONE DOES NOT NEED IN THIER LIFE ESPECIALLY WHEN ONE IS ATTEMPTING TO ACCOMPLISH GREATER THINGS IN LIFE...SO THAT IS WHY I HAVE EXCOMMUNICATED MY ASSOCIATION WITH HIM...AND WHAT IS OH, SO HUMOROUS IS HOW HE CAN SEE ME OUT AT A SOCIAL GATHERING OF SOME KIND AND SPEAK TO ME LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG, OR SEND ME AN EMAIL LIKE ITS OK. WTF!!! I AM GOING THROUGH A TRANSITION PERIOD NOW, AND I AM EVALUATING MY FRIENDS...WHO TO KEEP AND WHO NOT TO KEEP...ITS LIKE A JOB INTERVIEW, WHO WILL BE MORE BENEFIAL TO MY CORPORTAION, ME.....IF THEY ARE ANYTHING LIKE THIS OLD PERSON I CALLED A FRIEND, I DONT WANT NOR NEED THEM IN MY LIFE

boys, boys, boys

its a crying shame how lame dudes can be. not that i am actually looking for any type of relationship wit anyone currently, but if a person does approach me, why in the hell cant the be single? my question is why is it that men who are involved in ideal relationships are always tryin to holla? i mean damn it makes me think, is that all i am worth is a quick nut? then i rethink that and i know my self worth which is very high might i add. then i qustion the relationship the dude is in, covering all the basic points and being very analytical with it. and more times than not, i cannot come up with a valid reason for them to stray. this is a dilema to me, b/c it's like everyone, including these dudes say they are looking for that special someone to hold them down, but when they get it they are ready to cast it off. i just feel like if you are looking to date around, then do that. stop lying to other people and especially yourself if that is what u want to do. there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with that. but the issue with in that is people attach a negative stigma upon those who are just dating around, i'm not talkin about people who sleep around, like something is wrong with it. especially in the gay damn community where tom and dick, both done had harry and everyone knows ya business. so why can't dudes just be honest with themselves?

DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

DAMN WHAT THE HELL IS UP WIT THIS SITE..MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'M NEW ON HERE OR IS IT BECAUSE I DONT HAVE PATIENCE FOR THIS BS BUT THIS SHIT IS WORKING MY LAST DAMN NERVE. I'VE BEEN TRYIN TO SEE MY FRIENDS POSTS, SEE WHAT THEY POSTED UP ON MY JOINT, POST A LIL SOMETHING ON THIERS, AND I HAVE NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER BEEN TO A MORE PAIN IN THE ASS SLOW SITE!

just another day around the way

damn its august already and its hot as hell outside. i dont know if its me or the heat but these dudes that i know seemed to all have lost thier minds. i mean really they are going crazy. all of a sudden soon as they find out im bout to move to another locale, they all want to get in relationships and shit wit me. im like negro please, u had ur chance, and obviously it didnt work. but other than that, the usual back and forth in my mind about this move to the A. it has me scared to death, ive never gone that far, well lived that far from home. thats the biggest issue i have with it. but i did get some advice, if i dont like it, its not like i cant move back. which is true, so ima try to keep that in my thoughts.